Monday, January 24, 2005

Sick.. again

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...
Sick.. again

haiz.. Yet again i am stuck at home and not being in skool. Fcking hell! i hate being sick. stuck at home.. so boring!! haiz..

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Routine..

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...

I want this : http://www.hlj.com/scripts/hljpage.cgi?BAN926794

Routine..
Haiz.. i hate my life.. Reason:
    Why?
  • Same thing over and over again
  • Getting sick for no apprent reason
  • Things i thought will happen, didn't
  • There is just nothing to look forward to


I dunno!! i think i expect too much from both myself and myself.. i see no light in my life's journey.. Bleah!

I feel so tired of going through pain! I am sick of going through worthless turbulance from my Mom!! Why isn't life equiped with and (esp) key which i can just press and restart this game called 'life'.. sorry for being blunt.. but.. i hate being alive.. There is nothing special happening.. no suprises.. just sour challanges that was once a thrill.. Passing through all my 'hard' challanges so easily.. got through N level (whom sylvester studied harder then me but didnt make it through).. passing through O levels (trailling my nemesis by 2 points {he got 16 btw} whom studied almost everyday when i dint).. got through pre-u 1 (when azhari and alexi studied harder then me but got retained).. so? why am i still here? writing all this.. hurtful feelings crusing my mind.. screwing all my happy memories.. turning them sour.. i hate myself.. unreliable.. undependable..why do i think more things then others? calculations? perspective? things so simple yet so hard to solve.. thoughts.. another routine..

I always look forward to my death.. why?

tats all.. i am all gloomy and dark.. haiz

ta!

Monday, January 17, 2005

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...

Match report by James (if i am not mistaken)
SCC 2 Tornados 2

In the first match of the season, the young Tornados proved that they
not only matched their opponents from illustrious Singapore Cricket Club
in skills but could outplay them tactically in long spells. All the four
goals came in the second half when the match picked up tempo.

Tornados' full back, Zabid put the Tornados in front in the 50th minute
via a penalty corner. Tornados' left half Joffre earned the corner after
a rare foray into the oppoenent's circle. In the 55th minute, Tornados
right winger, Ali Akhbar beat 3 defenders with his speed to score
Tornados second goal giving the Tornados a 2 -0 lead. The match was
marred by some very dubious umpiring decisions that went against the
Tornados. Short corners were given one after another against the
Tornados . The inevitable had to come when the SCC lads scored off two
of these short corners. The young Tornados had to learn to live with bad
umpiring decisions and focus on the game. They must also learn to defend
in greater numbers.

Overall, the young Tornados put on an impressive display and this augur
well for the rest of the season.

Tornados Team: Gary Li (Goalie), Gopalan (Capt), Zabid, Norazam, Salim,
Joffre Ng, Haswan, Norfarid (Vice Capt), Vinod, Ali, Hafiz, Nasir and
Khairudin.

Yellow card: Norazam
Green Card: Joffre Ng

Manager: James Chew
Assistant: Jahauri

continuation of dread...

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...

Balls.. i hate this.. too many projects.. anyway.. i really dun give a hoot.. But, still must be completed.. sooner or later.. (maybe later). hahahaah

anyway, my team draw with the css club.. hockey i mean.. ceh.. but fun! (at the expense of me trying to fight the pain of my chest while runnin)

Now currently i am going to do my lit paper 1 and 8.. kinda like doing my work in the middle of the night.. Skool is kinda nice actually.. however.. seeing mos of the kelas fallin sick includin myself is really worring.. must isolate the virus!! haiz

Dun get me thinikin abt crap.. or i'll just fall ill...

Work work!! ta!

Sunday, January 16, 2005

A nice day.. screwed nite.. a killer week.. fatal weekends..

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...
A nice day.. screwed nite.. a killer week.. fatal weekends..

Oki.. i am half asleep now.. i am yet to recover form this 'illness'.. it dosent seem to go away.. i will just feel a couple of sharp pains in my lungs.. if i think too much.. haiz.. i know its lame but.. very true..

Haiz.. well.. i'll just continue tmr.. ta~!

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Out of contention

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...

I am back home now.. haiz.. Well, i went to skool. Duh! but i got a stupid severe chest pain. It really hurts!! damn! it was like someone pressin down on mi. I was like couldnt breath. I sat in the councling room or watever it is called, and waited for mom.. then got to a clinic.. the doc said i was too stressed up.. and i ws like huh? and gave me a worried look.. he up on a bed and srap all sorts of wires to do an erg.. scan my heart beat and breathing rate.. he said i was fine but alil too tired and stressed up.. haiz.. i got a day mc and also excuse from pe.. haiz

Btw, skool lessons suck!! ergh!!! well, onli the projects are the one i hate.. haiz
Anyway, i am going to rest.. ta!

Saturday, January 01, 2005

The new year!!!

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...

Lets take a dip into my last year's wishes 1st:
    Early 2004
  1. Get a job
  2. Get into a school
  3. stop playing hockey
  4. Be happy


    Mid/end 2004
  1. Get hannah's heart
  2. Get a new comp
  3. Find happiness
  4. donate some money to charity
  5. Get project G(gardian) going
  6. upgrade my comp
  7. pass my hist with flying colors
  8. buy new clothes and bag


Resolution.. hmm.. mine last year was to change myself to be a more flexible person and able to do all sorts of things.. This year is.. NOT TO BE LATE FOR SKOOL!!! kekekek.. i am always late anyway.. ceh

O ya! update on last few days...
Xmas
Was my last day at work.. and i got my pay!! yay!! a whole 680 bucks!!! Planed to spend it well.. haha!! kinda nice to see a quite empty simlim.. with nothing to do. i walked ard.. sit in the shop.. wonderin what to do.. talked crap with Saleh.. our usual talk-very-loud-chatting and ida tot we were arguing.. haiz.. then jaspal kpo.. haiz haiz... then we closed shop and when home.. *sorry suzie!! i cldnt get to your place coz we closed at 9.. =(

26 Dec 2004
A shopping hannah!! HahHA!! before that i got into a heated argument with my dad.. stoopid stuff.. i was just so darn hardheaded.. haiz.. anyway.. we went out.. gone to seoul garden.. kinda nice place to eat at.. but.. BLOODY EXPENSIVE!!! *curse and swearing in the background* Then i shopped Then hannah shopped for some clothes... hahha!! i insisted on it coz she kept wearing the same thing when we go out together.. (so do i btw).. I got her this black dress.. it looks hot on her but she didnt wana wear it on its own but with jeans on.. haiz(quite upset).. But still kinda cute in it though.. then we went to watch Kung Fu hustle!! ahah nIce show!! then we headed to uncle rehan's for his son's bdae. quite lil bubly baby boy!!hahah!!

the rest of the days i prfer to keep it in my heart.. (kinda lazy to type it down =X)
lets hope i will get my happiness.. boy i am weird..

Ta!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...

home... tired. drained. of coz the other employees feel the same. However, i am doing most of the junk. Heard of karma, wat goes up must come down. Yea. That applies to the head technician when he declines my asst tech pos. Baka! now he has lots of problem with the sudden surge of assembly. I pity him. he just wouldn't allow me and saleh help him out with the tech trouble shooting. lameo.

Anyway, got hockey tmr.. haiz

Ta!

Friday, December 17, 2004

Back home from ECP

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...

Todae was quite a well planned day for me. Only day. HAhAha! Anyway, send my dearest to skool then sat at the mac of Tempines mall to get breakfast. With the power of the $2, i got myself a nice sausage mcmuffin and tea. Nice hot tea. Ahh! hahah!

Anyway, i headed off to bedok to wait for Mr heire. Well, i walked ard with a mission of findin a bouquet of roses to supprise hannah. But! one stalk cost about $10!! Eekk!! and i was left about $8 to spend. After which i went to ECP w/o heire because his mom needed to rush to somewhere.

I got there, lazy ard. Waited for the rain to stop b4 i did the lil tap dance with fire. I got the bbq up and runnin. But! (wats with the buts anyway? heck i know) The food supply is like for 5 people. At that point of time, there is 6 people. so we waited till our supply of fish balls ran dry. Next, the charcoal supply ran dry. Poor Zabid and heire went to get ice and charcoal. Then left for T. poly. to fetch hannah. B4 that, i ran into a florist shop and got one stalk of rose! yay!! cost abt below my very low budget. (i wish i could add a teddy). the rushed to t.poly. Made worst by meeting hannah at the MAIN BUS STOP!!! PAck GiLE doNG!! I gave it to her and blushed like heck! for a whole 15mins.. like a LARGE group of people saw it and was like making lil comments. Could hear some, made me blush more. 0.o

Then head to ECP again, ate some food. got tummyache. Got some really nice romantic moments with dearie. she's so warm while i am feelin cold. Its feels so wonderful to have a person you love so deeply in your arms feeling the same, sharing that moment. i am the real emo type. hehe.

I got work tmr!! No!! *ripped hair of sculp!!* ta!
Light and the dark side of blue! kekek! me and my dearie on one of the hari raya days with her fwens. And the next day got work.. haiz.

Posted by Hello
I was bored...

Posted by Hello

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Tired day..

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...

I AM: tired
I WANT: A hug from dearie
I HAVE: an itch..
I WISH: i will be married to hannah now!
I HATE: being broke
I MISS: my dearie
I FEAR: losing my dearie
I SEARCH: for a path for my future.. suitable one..
I WONDER: if i will see my dad signin my death cert
I REGRET: not farting at one of my hateful friend
I ALWAYS: laze ard
I AM NOT: slow.. just lazy
I DANCE: when in the mood
I SING: when i am in the mood
I CRY: when my thought of my fear creaps up to me.. and when i hurt my dearie
I AM NOT ALWAYS: happy
I WRITE: server scripts..
I WON: my dearie's heart..
I LOST: my sanity..
I CONFUSE: myself with jealousy and worring..
I NEED: my dearie in my arms..
I SHOULD: Dye my hair blue before skool starts! *crazy!

10 things about you physically.
1. Big noses..
2. Small eyes..
3. small ass
4. nice abs..
5. crappy hairstyle..
6. super thin
7. bispecs
8. tall!
9. looks like a geek... (i am one!
10. i squint

9 good friends.
1. My dearie! hannah!
2. Azhari!
3. Saleh
4. Zhao wei
5. Nazrul
6. Sylvester
7. Hafreeze
8. Mao
9. Aidil


8 favourite foods/drinks.
1. Chicken rice!
2. Nasi ambeng
3. Nasi Lemak
4. Rice with indian chicken curry
5. Pizza
6. Pasta
7. Pepsi!
8. Chocolate milk

7 things you wear daily.
1. My undie.. duh!
2. A shirt
3. another shirt
4. my watch
5. my couple ring
6. a pair of shorts (and jeans if i am out)
7. my ipod mini!

6 things that annoy you.
1. Penguins (tappered mats) esp. those staring at my deaire *grrr
2. ppl blocking the door when i am alighting..
3. ppl suddenly stopping infront of me for no reason
4. Flat ipod mini batt!!
5. my crappy hair do
6. Bosses who are lazy!

5 things you touch everyday.
1. my cat
2. my keyboard
3. my mouse
4. my handphone
5. my ring


4 shows you watch.
1. A (vehical) is born
2. Anime (loads)
3. porn?? hahah j/k gundam seed Destiny on the net
4. model monday.. my fave show.. abt buildin ur own plactic model and how to customize it..

3 of your favourite books.
1. memours of a geisha
2. jurrasic park
3. the lost world

2 people you want to see right now
1. my dearie
2. my boss.. ABT MY F**kin LOW PAY!!!

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Bored..

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...

Haiz! the main office is moving in to Simlim and i am the only one in the 'crew' doing the running up and down. Damn. 2 weeks left!! must live through it!!

Anyway, dearie has started skooling this week and i wont see much of her. I am sincerely going to really miss her. =(

Nothing much though.. just that there is a laden weight on my chest now.. coz i miss you sayang! and when you didnt sms when you reach home, i get so worried that i cant even do my work properly. Please ease my mind. a small thing can do so much.

ta! gotta sleep! loads of work to do tmr.. hope i wont die.. =S

Monday, December 06, 2004

Anger.. Launch!

-fall's- Its just like another day...

Ok.. I got rid of my laziness to at least write an entry. Today, I had a bad day at work. I got Afew mistakes from my sales and and accident in my technical side of work. I sold a board without agp slog bundled together with an agp card. Dumb. 1st time it happened since I worked the in the beginning of the year. Damn. Anyway, I got 2 cuts on my fingers because I wasn't careful with that sharp edge of the io panel. haiz.

Piracy
Had a debate with Saleh just now about pirated products. With a sense of logic and down right anger. Given that you pay $149 to $279 for a windows XP or software needed to operate a computer, is it too expensive? I would say yes to those poor families that require a computer that has a proper license to use the OS. Without this license, your OS is recongized as pirated. To make this worst, the law will punish you if you are discovered. The governing commitee should or rather MUST take this into account that they are making this poor people POORER. Piracy is the way to save their money and not strain themselves paying up for it that is not edible or that can keep them alive.

So, why is the software is expensive? Easy. R&D on ways to prevent piracy. Cost them money. This mechanism which supposedly 'protects' the license key or from duplication will fast becomes outdated due to the fast development of technology and a more advance programming that disarm this 'features'. This is however not important as they should counter it by providing cheaper means acquiring this rather 'basic' products. Being a person with a great mind, bill gates is NEVER great as he did not think of the reasons why people purchase his pirated products. why do pirates make fakes? To gain money from their cheap duplication and possibly earning enough to pay for new technologies to duplicate newer 'protection' mechanism thus earning even more. This makes POOR people happy and rich idiotic (bill gates and ETC) people with this products unhappy. making their products cheaper, lets say to the price of $50 and below. Surely they will make more money as there will be an increase of purchases of these products. A lowering of price is the BEST idea since graded prices by adidas and nike to eliminate piracy to their products.

aite.. thats all for today.. ta!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Bored

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...
Bored

Bored bored bored bored!!!!! argh! Fuckin hell!! I wana get out and do something. Work maybe! Who cares! I put so much effort to do some things.. And it just get bumped away that easily. ARGH!! big Giveup on my fucking head. I wana go out but lack the funds to do so.. lack of will.. lack of companion.. for short i feel so freaking lonely and made worst by boredom... i got 2 projects and 1 miserable computer by my siide. it cant get any worst? Yes it does! I have a returning headache! Fuckin hell!

Argh!!! i need a break at sentosa!! its gonna happen and i dun want anything to get in my way! even the rain *waves fist at the sky!

Now.. i am goin to town! ergh! no one can stop me!!! *crappy headache...

then again... *groan..

haiz.. ta!

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

A date with a touch of fever

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...
A date with a touch of fever

Yesterday was so nice going out with dearie. We got ourselves couple rings from Yellow at West mall. Its a plain ring but has our name engraved on it, 'HannaHafiz' on the top of the ring and '13.06.04' in the inside. Cool eh? hehe. Then we went to watch shark tale. The show was kinda thin on the story side but crap jokes and humour covered it up. But, i dont recomend anyone to watch it unless you got 7 bucks to waste. KekeKE...

Anyway, i was supposed go to Tornadoes 7s but i am not healthy enough. I had fever and not very lasting in walking ard during the date. So it'll be alot worst if i am going to run around like a chicken without a head. Today, i slept like a log and burning with a fever at my all time high of 42c. wow. hahha. aite... tats all folks

Ta!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

So who wants to argue with this dude? the future for him will be somewhat different. Of course, THE COM IS WAY FUKIN SMALLER NOW THEN YOUR PREDICTION! But somehow it looks cute.

Posted by Hello

Monday, November 08, 2004

Birthdays...

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...
Birthdays...

2 reasons
I often wonder what's the big fuss about birthdays. Is it a day which other celebrate your coming of age? Or a mere cover up that you are becoming old? Heck. I don't really know the legend behind it. I am such a sad ass. Anyway, I got a really bad experience 3 years ago. It isn't the flour and eggs but the part where by I broke up with my ex for another guy. From then on, I swore that on 14/Nov I will not take any smiles or anything that represents happiness.

The another reason is that it shows that I am still alive in my ever full bullcrap life. The day I come into existence. The day when I am swore as a human being to put up with life's crap. I hate set backs. I hate my past break ups. I hate everything that creates me. A mere superfluous life. Bleah. My very bleak outlook in life.

Lame eh? Yea, I know. I just against my birthday being celebrated. Unless someone I love so dear give me a reason to move forward. For 3 belady years i haven't gotten any gifts or wishes. (success!) And looking forward to spending that day in silence. Heck. Its on hari raya. The more i am going to hate my birthday.
*i still see no reason to celebrate.

Note: Hannah is still sick. I am still worried sick. My silent prayer for her health.

Alone.. again

-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...
Alone.. again

I feel so lonely.

well, thats all. one line which says everything. Well, almost.

Peepz, am i that lame and irritating?

Thats the question that have been stuck in my mind for a long time.
Until yesterday i got out of this 'trance' to start thinking.

I am just so tired.

For making futile efforts that dosent change my position in my family.
Trying too much to do what i believe in, that it becomes old.


well, i am really emo today because of a series of events which started since the morning. I can see some people find me that irritating. It wasnt obvious but i felt it. I need to be alone. To think about myself. And about my actions.