Friday, August 13, 2004
Sunday, August 08, 2004
My first death threat
-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...
Ah! seriously, todae's list event is crappy. i threaten by a MALAYSIAN DICK HEAD! This is how it goes, he was wearing a blue old skool cap with a blue checkered shirt unbutton. He came up to me with a very tension held anrgy tone asking my where is the nearest park? I pointed to him a direction. Adds an another question, Are you a Singaporean? That when there is something amiss. His hands was behind his back pulling something. Instinct tells me that he is going to Jab me or something. Hell! What did i do? I prayed and just walk away. He walk ahead of me and hid at the left with of kodak, thinking i didnt see him. However, the conner of my eye caught a blue figure walkin towards me, tailing me. I detour into the mrt stn. And relieve came. My couzin, Shahibul came. I was like thanking allah. Fooh!.. Yet i am still shaking.... haiz.. ta!
Ah! seriously, todae's list event is crappy. i threaten by a MALAYSIAN DICK HEAD! This is how it goes, he was wearing a blue old skool cap with a blue checkered shirt unbutton. He came up to me with a very tension held anrgy tone asking my where is the nearest park? I pointed to him a direction. Adds an another question, Are you a Singaporean? That when there is something amiss. His hands was behind his back pulling something. Instinct tells me that he is going to Jab me or something. Hell! What did i do? I prayed and just walk away. He walk ahead of me and hid at the left with of kodak, thinking i didnt see him. However, the conner of my eye caught a blue figure walkin towards me, tailing me. I detour into the mrt stn. And relieve came. My couzin, Shahibul came. I was like thanking allah. Fooh!.. Yet i am still shaking.... haiz.. ta!
Thursday, August 05, 2004
So tell me
-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...
In response to the tag. Don't ever question me about my integrity in friendships. Thats the one of the main i depend on when i feel low. My source of spirit, my shoulders to lean on when i got problems, my warmth when i am cold. My eyes swell to talk about that. It really hurts to to not know how to react or how to feel when i am left aside. Hurts. I just type my heart out when not able to face the closest family, you all. Did you ask why i felt? No. That too hurts. You still go on poking this pain.
All i wanted is it get more experiance in the games to be played or played. To better myself. To feel accepted into the team. However, i feel so drifted apart to be felt accepted. I gots lots of question needs to be answered. I cant ask them, am always afraid that there isnt any open minds. The response i got, realised my fear coming true. Its always been be doing things i doing what i dont want to do and yet still do. Ever pictured yourself, doing tings you dont want to do? Can you get motivation knowing that it wont help what you are out to do? Answer this question which is burning in me. Different people react differently to different situations. Unfortunately this how i react. So i do apologize, sincerely.
In response to the tag. Don't ever question me about my integrity in friendships. Thats the one of the main i depend on when i feel low. My source of spirit, my shoulders to lean on when i got problems, my warmth when i am cold. My eyes swell to talk about that. It really hurts to to not know how to react or how to feel when i am left aside. Hurts. I just type my heart out when not able to face the closest family, you all. Did you ask why i felt? No. That too hurts. You still go on poking this pain.
All i wanted is it get more experiance in the games to be played or played. To better myself. To feel accepted into the team. However, i feel so drifted apart to be felt accepted. I gots lots of question needs to be answered. I cant ask them, am always afraid that there isnt any open minds. The response i got, realised my fear coming true. Its always been be doing things i doing what i dont want to do and yet still do. Ever pictured yourself, doing tings you dont want to do? Can you get motivation knowing that it wont help what you are out to do? Answer this question which is burning in me. Different people react differently to different situations. Unfortunately this how i react. So i do apologize, sincerely.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Things i want to say...(not for the faint hearted)
-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...
Yo! Guess what? the last soccer match i was a subsitute. Cool eh? when i got in, i got to prove myself. I Manage to kick the ball Once. Wow. I bet yall are envious. FUCK my tiny ass! I prefer to play soccer in Fifa 2004 rather then get humiliated like this. No wonder i can find NO motivation to play for then. Let alone get up early in the fucking morning and waiting for late opponents and players. I rather sleep or just do crap on my computer. 'Utility man', rite... Another name for useless spare part. Why labeled as such? Because i am a to be shoved aside for them to play. Next match, I WONT SHOW MY FUCKING FACE! Why am i typing it down? Good question. I want this grp to know that i do not deserved to be called FALCAO with regards to my play time on pitch. I cant even believe a bunch of guys find me hard to handle on pitch at school. they said so themself. Pissed? very. So my solution, pay for the jersey and fuck off like a good citizen of Singapore.
My dream team: Myself, Azhari, Hafiz, Sadiq, Am nor, Mark, Taufiq, Shazni, Zaki, Aung(GK), Mr Andrew, Farid, Helmi, Aufa Ridwan, Nazrey. Thats a long list of high pitch influence players.
Yo! Guess what? the last soccer match i was a subsitute. Cool eh? when i got in, i got to prove myself. I Manage to kick the ball Once. Wow. I bet yall are envious. FUCK my tiny ass! I prefer to play soccer in Fifa 2004 rather then get humiliated like this. No wonder i can find NO motivation to play for then. Let alone get up early in the fucking morning and waiting for late opponents and players. I rather sleep or just do crap on my computer. 'Utility man', rite... Another name for useless spare part. Why labeled as such? Because i am a to be shoved aside for them to play. Next match, I WONT SHOW MY FUCKING FACE! Why am i typing it down? Good question. I want this grp to know that i do not deserved to be called FALCAO with regards to my play time on pitch. I cant even believe a bunch of guys find me hard to handle on pitch at school. they said so themself. Pissed? very. So my solution, pay for the jersey and fuck off like a good citizen of Singapore.
My dream team: Myself, Azhari, Hafiz, Sadiq, Am nor, Mark, Taufiq, Shazni, Zaki, Aung(GK), Mr Andrew, Farid, Helmi, Aufa Ridwan, Nazrey. Thats a long list of high pitch influence players.
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Another Open Heart..
-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...
I am here, still wondering what i want to do in the future. I am in doubt regarding my studies now. And i do mean BIG doubt. I am really losing interest in all my A level subjects, hockey, soccer and myself. I got a failing ankle, sore brain and a lost mind. For short, I am losing my footing in reality.
I just cant help thinking that i am unable to get through this 'reality' of society. Where policies, biasness, prejudice and discrimination is all over. I myself, can safely say that i need a hard kick in the arse to move because i am lazy to the absolute core if it does not hit my interest. Looking at my rate i am going, i can hardly make it the year-end promotion examinations. I am studying as accordingly to the topics given. I will certainly hope I will get through to next year.
My parents had left me to the sharks now, time for me to make my own move. I have to motivate myself, to push on. Question now lies in 'Whats my target university?', 'What major should i take?', 'How long will it take?' and 'Can i handle it?'. I am getting a very little support or rather guidance. I need someone to pour this ladden weight on my shoulders. But who?
Aite, i am having a bad headache right now. so, Ta!
I am here, still wondering what i want to do in the future. I am in doubt regarding my studies now. And i do mean BIG doubt. I am really losing interest in all my A level subjects, hockey, soccer and myself. I got a failing ankle, sore brain and a lost mind. For short, I am losing my footing in reality.
I just cant help thinking that i am unable to get through this 'reality' of society. Where policies, biasness, prejudice and discrimination is all over. I myself, can safely say that i need a hard kick in the arse to move because i am lazy to the absolute core if it does not hit my interest. Looking at my rate i am going, i can hardly make it the year-end promotion examinations. I am studying as accordingly to the topics given. I will certainly hope I will get through to next year.
My parents had left me to the sharks now, time for me to make my own move. I have to motivate myself, to push on. Question now lies in 'Whats my target university?', 'What major should i take?', 'How long will it take?' and 'Can i handle it?'. I am getting a very little support or rather guidance. I need someone to pour this ladden weight on my shoulders. But who?
Aite, i am having a bad headache right now. so, Ta!
Favi Song!
-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...
Final Answer
I want love
To carry me through
All the moments, I'd kindly undo
Locked away
So I can feel safe
Now that I'm down on my knees, begging for change
Look down at the water
Before I jump in
To find I was sinking fast, in all that might have been
Chorus:
What I need now is an honest answer, to make things better
You can see now my hands are tied, and I surrender
So I'll wait here for your final answer, your final answer
Is there love without hate
Is there pleasure without pain?
I have seen all my mistakes
I cast you out, but now, I want you back
So light me again, cause my heart is turning black
Chorus
Remember the night you wore that dress
It flowed through our lips
Drink after drink and kiss after kiss
I'm still holding on, day after day
Don't run away
I want love to carry me through
Can you tell me what I'm supposed to do
Chorus
Final Answer
I want love
To carry me through
All the moments, I'd kindly undo
Locked away
So I can feel safe
Now that I'm down on my knees, begging for change
Look down at the water
Before I jump in
To find I was sinking fast, in all that might have been
Chorus:
What I need now is an honest answer, to make things better
You can see now my hands are tied, and I surrender
So I'll wait here for your final answer, your final answer
Is there love without hate
Is there pleasure without pain?
I have seen all my mistakes
I cast you out, but now, I want you back
So light me again, cause my heart is turning black
Chorus
Remember the night you wore that dress
It flowed through our lips
Drink after drink and kiss after kiss
I'm still holding on, day after day
Don't run away
I want love to carry me through
Can you tell me what I'm supposed to do
Chorus
Agenda For Today
-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...
Ah.. Love the saturday mornings.. Calm, cool air supressed my mental tension.. ~ah~ HAhah.. I am bloody hungry! damnit. Well.. This maybe crap but i may be having some eatin disorder.. 1 Min i was damn hungry, aft i start eatin, i feel so full. I didnt even consume half of the plate... v crappy.
Today's agenda, get my econs crap at skool, my md and STUDY! I dun wana fail the CT. It will be another embressment. Eee.. I must get econs nailed to my head before moving on to HIstory and Literature. Hope i can get it done. ~Sigh~
Ah.. Love the saturday mornings.. Calm, cool air supressed my mental tension.. ~ah~ HAhah.. I am bloody hungry! damnit. Well.. This maybe crap but i may be having some eatin disorder.. 1 Min i was damn hungry, aft i start eatin, i feel so full. I didnt even consume half of the plate... v crappy.
Today's agenda, get my econs crap at skool, my md and STUDY! I dun wana fail the CT. It will be another embressment. Eee.. I must get econs nailed to my head before moving on to HIstory and Literature. Hope i can get it done. ~Sigh~
Friday, July 30, 2004
At school... No Where else for the day..
-FaLcAo- Its just like another day...
Haiz.. Now in the bloody IT room wait for the crew to move to the canteen for our break.. as in EAT!. Crap.. Aidil havent even defer his NS. WOW.. haha.. Ahphat next to me is sufin friendster for some breakin peeps... Haiz.. today is gonna be a long day... to make it worst the GAY is behind me... ~runaway~
Haiz.. Now in the bloody IT room wait for the crew to move to the canteen for our break.. as in EAT!. Crap.. Aidil havent even defer his NS. WOW.. haha.. Ahphat next to me is sufin friendster for some breakin peeps... Haiz.. today is gonna be a long day... to make it worst the GAY is behind me... ~runaway~
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Damn day.. and the day of damned
No tag top... Erg!
Argh! Damnit! I screwed up my right arm... As in do too many head and hand stands.. Sheesh.. When Saufi did the strechin of my arm, Boy it hurts... I got some variations of freeze! Kewl! ahahah..
Down to early in the morn, was supposed to be late But, reached too damn early... crappy... y? Mi took taxi.! wEE! Day at skool? Got it down good, but kinda lost at econs.. haiz..
Now, mi tired. Mi wana sleep. So. TA!
Argh! Damnit! I screwed up my right arm... As in do too many head and hand stands.. Sheesh.. When Saufi did the strechin of my arm, Boy it hurts... I got some variations of freeze! Kewl! ahahah..
Down to early in the morn, was supposed to be late But, reached too damn early... crappy... y? Mi took taxi.! wEE! Day at skool? Got it down good, but kinda lost at econs.. haiz..
Now, mi tired. Mi wana sleep. So. TA!
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Late night/Early morning
Haizz.. No top tag.. Baka^2
A sentence. Cant sleep, too woried, dun ask y. or rather i will tell you why. 1stly, Happi 18th Bdae Syg! I love ya lots and dun get too stressed up. Very worried abt you gettin so stressed up.
I got so many things to say and just dont know how to say them. Kinda crappy though. My mind is constantly on something but its like so many for me to name. One of it is worring for hannah.
The other, i just started to realise that i really need to think where exactly i want to do in the future. I really have veryy low intrest in my current tertiary education. I just want to do what i really like, eg Multi media designs or being a computer engineer... My dream career; being a teacher, needs alot of high level education which i feel inferior to. The rate i am learning history and other A lvl subjects is damn scary. That entirely reflects to the magnitute of things to come in degree level. O.o In other words, i am just scared. Need to talk to a teacher or something, or maybe just talk to Sayang...I am as lost as i am rite now.
Thats abt it.. there is alot of crap i wana type down but kinda not in a gd mood to do so. Ta.
A sentence. Cant sleep, too woried, dun ask y. or rather i will tell you why. 1stly, Happi 18th Bdae Syg! I love ya lots and dun get too stressed up. Very worried abt you gettin so stressed up.
I got so many things to say and just dont know how to say them. Kinda crappy though. My mind is constantly on something but its like so many for me to name. One of it is worring for hannah.
The other, i just started to realise that i really need to think where exactly i want to do in the future. I really have veryy low intrest in my current tertiary education. I just want to do what i really like, eg Multi media designs or being a computer engineer... My dream career; being a teacher, needs alot of high level education which i feel inferior to. The rate i am learning history and other A lvl subjects is damn scary. That entirely reflects to the magnitute of things to come in degree level. O.o In other words, i am just scared. Need to talk to a teacher or something, or maybe just talk to Sayang...I am as lost as i am rite now.
Thats abt it.. there is alot of crap i wana type down but kinda not in a gd mood to do so. Ta.
Friday, July 23, 2004
Small update..
Well.. again no top tag... Haiz..
Hello again to all my friends i am glad you came to play, our fun in learning never ends, heres what we did today!
Hahha... I just got home.. Got this pain in the heart. Y you ask, hmm.. I DID BLOODY BADLY FOR MY DEBATES. I sucko lotzy! hahha.. I got a tummyache and my points were all over the place. Haiz... Short update for now, i got some things to settle. Like my room, messy liao.
Hello again to all my friends i am glad you came to play, our fun in learning never ends, heres what we did today!
Hahha... I just got home.. Got this pain in the heart. Y you ask, hmm.. I DID BLOODY BADLY FOR MY DEBATES. I sucko lotzy! hahha.. I got a tummyache and my points were all over the place. Haiz... Short update for now, i got some things to settle. Like my room, messy liao.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)